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A place for tulpa-related questions and resources. Broad discussion topics go in #tulpa-discussion. If you are new, please check out the pinned messages. Forum Link to Tulpa Questions: https://community.tulpa.info/forum/13-tulpa-questions-answers/
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 11:33 AM
senses etc
11:34 AM
they are just an interface, and headmates are thought patterns that drive actions that are then sensed
11:34 AM
and whoever is switched in can just claim it all as them until someone else takes their place
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Lynn (TTG) BOT 8/29/2023 11:34 AM
we dont have our own pseudo SOCs
11:35 AM
:<
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 11:35 AM
What is sensory switching? You mean host switching from body senses to another virtual set of senses? Sounds like what she wanted to reach with dissociation. Wonderland/Headspace switching also looks like what she'd have wanted with dissociation ^^° Overall we were told that to truly detach from bedy senses it'd require major deep change in how our system operated and that quite scared us a bit
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Ranger ↩️
Reply to: In that case you have a few options:
  • I can teach you sensory switching. It doesn't matter if you …
11:38 AM
I do think that's what causing issues here. Because if senses are just an interface, then she does always feel there and that is triggering her way too often. I quite appreciate your point of view on the matter because it correlates nicely with what our friend systems told us about.
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aapeli 🟣🥫 ↩️
Reply to: things became a lot clearer for me when i learned to think of consciousness as a separate thing that…
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 11:38 AM
yeah i had problems with constantly coming back to front because of that
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 11:39 AM
Or maybe I didn't understand it because of this sentence?
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aapeli 🟣🥫 ↩️
Reply to: and whoever is switched in can just claim it all as them until someone else takes their place
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 11:39 AM
there are also some things that your body does on autopilot that feel a lot like the host
11:39 AM
you did
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 11:39 AM
Okay because it doesn't feel like I can claim it all. Host still also has it all ^^° All the fronters have it all I guess
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 11:40 AM
fake it till you make it?
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A long kiss goodnight 8/29/2023 11:40 AM
For us, sensory switching involves us seeing the SOC as seprate entity, BUT you can see it as having two Twilibris: the Twilibri that experiences things and Twilibri's personality that functions like a headmate. This is important because we believe the headmate needs to attatch themselves to the SOC in order to sensory switch. For example, when I switch in, I basically "own" the SOC. If I feel something like bumping into a table, that is my feeling. I also assume I'm always in the background, feeling everything on an unconscious level
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 11:40 AM
While I'd want to be the only one feeling it . And for the host to stop feeling like they are there and that everything is targeted at them!
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 11:40 AM
thats how we got used to maintaining a switch with me going "on pause" completely, emmi just ignored everything that felt like me and we got used to it over time
11:41 AM
and it doesnt feel like me anymore
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A long kiss goodnight
For us, sensory switching involves us seeing the SOC as seprate entity, BUT you can see it as having two Twilibris: the Twilibri that experiences things and Twilibri's personality that functions like a headmate. This is important because we believe the headmate needs to attatch themselves to the SOC in order to sensory switch. For example, when I switch in, I basically "own" the SOC. If I feel something like bumping into a table, that is my feeling. I also assume I'm always in the background, feeling everything on an unconscious level
berockly (TTG) 8/29/2023 11:41 AM
Whats weird is the SOC is a POV
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 11:41 AM
there are still things that come with "autopilot" that feel like me but we realize its just autopilot stuff
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 11:42 AM
That sounds very confusing somehow. Does it mean breaking Twi into pieces then? Because what you explain is very similar to something that is scaring us
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Ranger ↩️
Reply to: For us, sensory switching involves us seeing the SOC as seprate entity, BUT you can see it as having…
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 11:42 AM
when either of us wants to switch, we make ourselves feel like what each of us feel like we are at our core, kind of focusing on the "signature feeling", so when emmi wants to switch i let go and focus on what she feels like and it quickly turns into her feeling herself and then i'm the small voice in the background (edited)
11:43 AM
it wont break you in any way or cause any weird feelings/dissociation
11:43 AM
its just a change in mindset of how you think about something
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Tohru | 夢
That sounds very confusing somehow. Does it mean breaking Twi into pieces then? Because what you explain is very similar to something that is scaring us
A long kiss goodnight 8/29/2023 11:44 AM
This isn't breaking Twi into two pieces, this is seeing two parts that are already separate that are both labeled as Twi. If you stick with the mindset the SOC = Twi, then sensory switching is Twi becomes you
👍 1
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berockly (TTG) 8/29/2023 11:45 AM
The way i view it is usually like that
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 11:45 AM
I think I see. It's confusing still because it doesn't work that Twi thinks she's me
11:45 AM
I can't figure how it works
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berockly (TTG) 8/29/2023 11:46 AM
Instead of wearing wesley as the personality i use, i wear Lynn, or lilith
11:46 AM
(I refering to the SOC, or the POV of the mind)
11:47 AM
But instead of using SOC I use POV because thats how the SOC functions IMO
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 11:47 AM
I see. It'd mean that Twi stops considering the SOC as herself? Which is hmmm not really something I think she's capable of. Letting go is quite the major issue for her
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berockly (TTG) 8/29/2023 11:48 AM
Is it really that difficult? /genq
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Tohru | 夢
I see. It'd mean that Twi stops considering the SOC as herself? Which is hmmm not really something I think she's capable of. Letting go is quite the major issue for her
A long kiss goodnight 8/29/2023 11:48 AM
I think the alternative is Twi is switched-in right now because she is attatched to the SOC
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berockly (TTG) 8/29/2023 11:48 AM
I never really experienced that difficulty because of how we learned to vocal and switch at the same time
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 11:49 AM
Yeah that's why I say we're co-fronting at best
11:49 AM
She never release the SOC
11:49 AM
Hmmm
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berockly (TTG) 8/29/2023 11:49 AM
She could just stop doing stuff
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Tohru | 夢
She never release the SOC
A long kiss goodnight 8/29/2023 11:49 AM
Can't because she don’t know how or because she doesn't want to? (edited)
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 11:50 AM
maybe you two could try acting like you in tandem if that makes sense
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 11:50 AM
But if I stop doing stuff I'll lost the front again?
11:50 AM
I guess doesn't know how. I mean she was always attached to it.
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Ranger ↩️
Reply to: Can't because she don’t know how or because she doesn't want to?
11:50 AM
She doesn't have anywhere else to attach to
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 11:51 AM
she acts like she's you, and you fill in the gaps until theres not anything left of her acting like you
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A long kiss goodnight 8/29/2023 11:51 AM
That's okay, she can learn how ^^ The expectation of detatching and reattatching to the SOC is very important for sensory switching. That helps the switch happen (edited)
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 11:51 AM
and its just you looking at things and thinking to yourself
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Tohru | 夢
She doesn't have anywhere else to attach to
A long kiss goodnight 8/29/2023 11:52 AM
She has her cobud-self, just like how you exist Tohru. She can just go to the back
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 11:52 AM
ignore the nagging feeling that twi is the thing watching at all times, and claim it as yourself even if it feels like you're actually not it
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A long kiss goodnight 8/29/2023 11:53 AM
The thing watching is the SOC. It is there but it doesn't have to be Twi if she's disconnected
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Lilith (TTG) BOT 8/29/2023 11:53 AM
with that method of switching, though, it takes us constant focus unless we are on discord
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 11:54 AM
i think switching is the same thing you do with your ""mind voice"" when you start talking, it feels like you but you learn to think its not you
11:54 AM
same goes with the thing watching at all times
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 11:54 AM
I feel like you're hitting quite the spot. but she got so grown attached to it that I don't know how to make her stop associating with it all the time.
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aapeli 🟣🥫 ↩️
Reply to: ignore the nagging feeling that twi is the thing watching at all times, and claim it as yourself eve…
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A long kiss goodnight 8/29/2023 11:54 AM
I can give you our switching method Tohru, I'm actually writing it in our switching guide ^^'
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 11:55 AM
I'd be glad to have a read. I don't expect it helping but any information is worth taking ^^°
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 11:55 AM
have you been trying this for how long 🤔
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 11:55 AM
I feel like it's a mindset issue on both our sides but I don't know which way to tackle it first.
11:56 AM
I'm very thankful for slowly but surely making me understand what you all mean.
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Tohru | 夢
I'd be glad to have a read. I don't expect it helping but any information is worth taking ^^°
A long kiss goodnight 8/29/2023 11:56 AM
I'll link it to you when I'm ready to share it! ^^
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 11:57 AM
For Twi, the only way I could be free from her influence is to stop being aware of what happens in the front.
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 11:58 AM
i personally dont think its possible, it would be the same as it is now but you somehow forget what happened
11:58 AM
i mean its not possible to split consciousness
11:59 AM
if you're talking about that
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 11:59 AM
We heard it is but with consequences that we don't want to happen.
11:59 AM
Would be like inducing disorders and physical separation to split "consciousness"
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Tohru | 夢
For Twi, the only way I could be free from her influence is to stop being aware of what happens in the front.
A long kiss goodnight 8/29/2023 12:01 PM
This is not true. You can switch and have no changes in your vision or memory of what happens. This is how we switch and Gray doesn't interrupt me when I'm switched-in
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 12:01 PM
im sure she knows
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 12:01 PM
But is he aware?
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Ranger ↩️
Reply to: This is not true. You can switch and have no changes in your vision or memory of what happens. This …
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 12:01 PM
the issue is just feeling like the host all the time (edited)
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 12:02 PM
I mean, the situation is that Twi want "a break" and "let go" so I can peacefully enjoy front without her interference. So to say she want to be lazy xD
12:03 PM
I know it's also to let me explore myself as I didn't have much opportunities to develop outside of the system
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Gray | Shadow System BOT 8/29/2023 12:04 PM
But is he aware?
@Tohru | 夢 - jump The SOC still exists, but we change the label of who owns it. It's like how you change your definition of what "I" means to create a cobud- suddenly a cobud is not "me", they are "you". With the SOC, it goes from "me" to "Ranger". When I switch out, I feel like I become a program in the mind. The SOC isn't affected by us switching, and now that I can't feel anything only Ranger can, I just become a voice in Ranger's head
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 12:05 PM
She's wary of just thinking she's someone else
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 12:05 PM
from a singlet pov/mindset: you start acting like the other headmate and you forget how you tend to usually act, until you go back to acting like yourself
12:06 PM
but when you mix it with a different way of thinking about it, its switching
12:07 PM
but it feels the same, you just see it from a different perspective
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 12:07 PM
I have many thoughts right now. Could be that she isn't used to have someone else front for long period of time and seeing what someone else can do with the body that she cannot. Could be that we are similar enough for her to not feel distinct enough
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 12:07 PM
which i think is more correct than labeling everything as "you" (the host)
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 12:08 PM
sigh
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 12:08 PM
these things tend to go in circles because you just have to practice and do it
12:08 PM
😔
12:09 PM
for me it helped to completely deconstruct what "me" means
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 12:09 PM
I do believe all of this would be so much easier if I could make me heard with voice imposition like I once could during her first month with me
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 12:09 PM
"me" is just a sense that is paired with "me" sounding thoughts that come out of nowhere
12:09 PM
you could talk out loud to each other?
12:09 PM
we did that when we started
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 12:10 PM
I did it once 10y ago it lasted 3 sentences
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 12:10 PM
nowadays we either just talk in our heads or talk without making sounds
12:10 PM
moving our mouth/subvocalizing (edited)
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 12:11 PM
trust issues and anxiety makes these hard to trust in her head
12:11 PM
I'm still glad I can write on my own
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Tohru | 夢
I did it once 10y ago it lasted 3 sentences
A long kiss goodnight 8/29/2023 12:11 PM
Huh, interesting. I don't see why it couldn't happen again if that's the experience you want.
12:11 PM
I find that whispering in Gray's ear is a heck of an experience
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 12:12 PM
i think talking out loud is a very good way to work towards switching, but maybe thats just because it worked for us
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 12:12 PM
That's definitely the experience we want. open communication like this would increase Twi's trust in me and I could be there to guide her for a more proper switch.
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae
i think talking out loud is a very good way to work towards switching, but maybe thats just because it worked for us
A long kiss goodnight 8/29/2023 12:12 PM
That's interesting, I never heard that before
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Tohru | 夢
That's definitely the experience we want. open communication like this would increase Twi's trust in me and I could be there to guide her for a more proper switch.
A long kiss goodnight 8/29/2023 12:13 PM
You absolutely need trust before you can switch
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 12:13 PM
But I think it's complicated now because I traumatized her with my "powers" during our first few months together
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aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae 8/29/2023 12:13 PM
thoughts become speech, speech bleeds into body language, the more you talk the more you let the other one think, soon the other one is the only one thinking and moving, bam switched
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Tohru | 夢 BOT 8/29/2023 12:14 PM
She trusts me but doesn't trust herself that she's doing good and that she won't make it fail like always bla bla or won't take the front again... Her overthinking mind is annoying me but I cannot block it all the time because it is flooding the brain to the point I can't say a thing
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Ranger ↩️
Reply to: You absolutely need trust before you can switch
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